There are times when my mouth works way faster than my brain, and I'll blurt something out that I can never take back again. Since I tend to over-think stuff, this often leads me to bashing myself for months to come, until long after everyone else probably forgot about it, but maybe that's a good thing because that way I might manage to do better next time?
One of my worst blurt scenarios? I had just found out that a guy from his lordship's Ft.Campbell unit had been killed in an incident downrange. While the news understandably upset me, I do wish I had taken a different approach in sharing the news with my husband. Our conversation (if one can call the ambush that happened a conversation!) went like this:
Me: Babe, do you remember so-and-so?
Mr.Man: Of course, at one point he was my crew chief downrange.
Me: He's dead.
-- silence --
I still can't believe I didn't find a better way to tell him. For some reason when I look at him I always see this happy guy who keeps a level head on his shoulders throughout the worst times, and I guess that may have been part of it, but in the end it was selfish of me to break the news this way. Selfish because I wanted HIM to console ME, when in fact it should have been ME consoling HIM.
Unfortunately, I can't take it back, and even though it's been over a year ago, the incident still pops up in my head from time to time. I certainly hope to do better if there is a next time.
Have you ever brought bad news to someone in a bad way?
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